met free Chapter 65 Zhen Xiaosi Becomes a Fake Eunuch
Chapter 65 Zhen Xiaosi Becomes a Fake Eunuch
During the Yonghui era.
Inside the palace.
The room was filled with people including: the fake Little Rhinoceros (who traveled back in 649 to see his father for the last time), Brother Zhinu (the new emperor), the smooth-skinned "Yonghui Rhinoceros" eunuch (wait, who is this?), the regent Brother Liji, Zhang Ruize, the vice minister of the Court of Judicial Review, Wei Siqian, the censor, and Chu Suiliang, the Grand Secretary.
Fake Little Si (who traveled back from the future, and wasn't confused about wearing ancient palace attire for the first time): Oh my god, are you kidding me! I finally managed to escape the palace, planning to grow herbs with Brother Qiu Rongmu, and in the blink of an eye I'm back as a eunuch. I haven't even figured things out yet, and palace life has started again?!
Brother Zhinu (the new emperor, looking triumphantly at the fake Xiao Si): Xiao Si, you're not going to run away this time! Now that you've become our little eunuch, I'll give you the name "Yong Hui Si". From now on, you must stay obediently in the palace and don't even think about running away!
Yonghui Si (The smooth-skinned eunuch is none other than the fake Si who was captured): Oh dear, Your Majesty, my dear brother, I am a legitimate Si! You are such a good brother, not only restricting my freedom but also making me a eunuch and giving me such an unlucky name—Yonghui Si! I don't want to be cannon fodder forever!
Brother Pork Tenderloin (Xu Shiji, the regent, pretending to be serious): Little Si, stop fooling around. The emperor has just ascended the throne. You are a little eunuch now, which is to protect you and allow you to live legitimately by the emperor's side. You need to learn the relevant etiquette and study hard with Grandpa Zhang Xingcheng. Don't always think about going out of the palace to play.
Yonghui Si (drawing out his voice): Sigh~ But speaking of which, Brother Tenderloin, you're now Uncle Tenderloin, and you still keep talking about Grandpa Zhang Xingcheng. Isn't that going too far?
Zhang Xingcheng (muttering under his breath): Grandpa it is then. Anyway, in three years, I'll be leaving. At least the Emperor trusts me and gives me such an important job. Unlike you, the Emperor trusts you too, but you're always trying to run away!
Yonghui Si (sticking out her tongue): Okay, okay, I got it! By the way, who else do we have to see today?
Zhang Xingcheng said: There is a Vice Minister of the Court of Judicial Review named Zhang Ruize. I heard that he often distorts the law to protect those ministers, including the Grand Secretary Chu Suiliang, a famous and important figure! However, he has run into that censor Wei Siqian who likes to impeach people, which is a bit of a headache.
Li Ji bluntly said: "Do whatever you want, I'm out of options, I'm here today to resign."
Upon hearing this, Si Zi exclaimed, "Uncle Pork Tenderloin, you're being too cruel! You don't even want to stay here anymore, yet you're trying to persuade me to stay and be a little eunuch."
Li Ji: Our situations are different...
The new Emperor Li Zhi entered the room and took his seat in the main seat: "Today we have two important matters to discuss, which were proposed by everyone. Yonghui Si, could you read them to them again for me?"
Si Zi was somewhat reluctant, but still cleared her throat: "Alright, the first thing—regarding the issue of certain female favorites interfering in court affairs; the second thing—regarding the issue of certain ministers harboring ulterior motives and being disloyal. Today we will focus our discussion on these two main areas!"
Upon hearing this, Zhang Xingcheng realized it was exactly what he had been advising (patting his chest): "Thank you, Your Majesty, for trusting this old minister! I dare not boast of anything else, but I am guaranteed to be upright and honest for life, and you're even gifting me with the truth!! You can rest assured that I dare to speak the absolute truth to Your Majesty!"
He thought to himself, "My capable assistant can only work for three more years at most!"
The new emperor, in his rationality: That's reliable! Let's continue! Wait, Li Ji, didn't you resign last month? I reluctantly agreed, so why are you doing this again?
Pork Tenderloin Brother (shrugs): Your Majesty, I was just helping you arrange for "Zhen Xiaosi" to become a "fake eunuch," have you forgotten? Don't bother me with anything else! I'm truly exhausted, and I really do wish to retire. Thank you so much for your understanding; I truly can't let go of the affairs of state…
The new emperor looked at Li Ji with reason and sincerity: "Can't you let it go? Have you discovered some conspiracy? We're close friends despite our age difference, have you forgotten? Why can't you speak frankly like Zhang Xingcheng?"
Yonghui Si (with a grin): Brother Pork Tenderloin, oh no, Uncle Pork Tenderloin, we all know you've been unhappy about resigning several times without success! But, Your Majesty, don't be in such a hurry to approve it, he might regret it after just a month.
Upon hearing this, Li Ji understood that Si Zi was complaining that he had brought the person back to the palace.
However, the reality was that he finally found Xiao Si at Qiu Rongmu's place, but Xiao Si was unconscious.
Later, he met an old immortal who told him that he had to send Xiao Si back to the palace and have her disguised as a eunuch in order to help her overcome her difficulties.
That's why he orchestrated this whole thing.
Unexpectedly, Si Zi's illness was cured as soon as he put on the eunuch's clothes.
Si Zi had no idea of his good intentions, but there was no need to explain. She quickly bowed and ran away.
Wei Siqian (storming in angrily): Your Majesty! I have an impeachment to submit! That Lord Chu Suiliang actually forcibly acquired his subordinates' homesteads at below-market prices. This is blatant corruption! The Dali Temple has sentenced Chu Suiliang to pay 20 catties of pure copper as a fine, but he still refuses to pay.
Chu Suiliang: Don't talk nonsense! I bought the house according to the rules, let's not cause any misunderstandings!
(Looking at the Emperor with an innocent expression): I am wronged! I request that the Emperor second this decision. This was a completely voluntary transaction between the buyer and seller.
Zhang Ruizhe (quickly raising his hand): Yes, yes, Your Majesty, I followed the prescribed investigation procedures. Lord Chu bought it at the official price! There was no improper operation!
Wei Siqian (sneer): Hmph, according to procedure? That official price only applies to land requisition by the imperial court; private transactions should be based on market prices! I think you're openly colluding!
Yonghui Si (covering his forehead): Goodness, this has all been blown out of proportion! Oh dear, it seems our court is in quite a stir! There's Zhang Ruize, who clearly has his own side; Wei Siqian, the expert at impeachment; and the innocent Chu Suiliang! Your Majesty, this is going to be quite a show!
The new emperor rationally said: Zhang Ruize, this is a crime of distorting the law! You should know that according to the new law I have drafted, the punishment is twenty lashes, a fine of double the copper coins, and demotion!
Zhang Ruizhe (his legs went weak with fear): Your Majesty, I am innocent! Both parties agreed to the deal! Twenty lashes will cripple him!
With a wry smile, he leaned closer: "How about we go through the 'Eight Deliberations' process? Discussion, petition, reduction, redemption, official appropriation—any of these will do..."
Sizi couldn't understand and started asking, "What are the 'Eight Discussions'?"
The rational older brother said: You may all step back now, we can discuss this another day.
Then he happily enjoyed the time he spent with Sizi: "Sizi, let's talk about some little-known legal secrets from ancient times. There's something called 'Eight Deliberations.' It means that there are eight types of big shots who commit capital crimes and have to go through a special passage during their trial."
What kind of channel is this? Which eight big names are involved?
These eight categories of prominent figures include imperial relatives, old friends of the emperor, virtuous gentlemen, talented individuals, meritorious officials who have made great contributions, high-ranking nobles, diligent and hardworking officials and model workers, as well as children of the previous dynasty's royal family, such as Little Sizi.
Si Zi thought to herself: Not bad, not bad! That makes sense. They are all relatives and friends of the royal family, so they should be treated specially!
Rational Brother: According to the rules, if you really want to convict someone, you have to "invite" them!
Xiao Si (confused): Huh? You want me to treat you to a meal? I'm not Princess Jinyang anymore, I don't have a fiefdom or a stipend anymore. No, no, no.
Rational Brother: No, "please" means to submit a memorial to me, and I will personally come out of seclusion to make the final decision on the crime!
Wow, the word "please" is such a high-class word. It means you have to report to your son and let him make the decision himself. He really has real power.
What about the word "reduction"?
It means reducing the punishment of the criminal by one level, which can be considered an act of leniency outside the law.
What about the word "redemption"?
It means to use copper coins to atone for one's crime, implying that money can be used to avoid disaster. For example, in this case, the fine imposed on Uncle Chu Suiliang was 200 copper coins.
Oh, I get it. In other words, it means that if something can be solved with money, criminal law resources should never be wasted!
Indeed, I like this one too; it can help us build up some savings!
Haha, right, right, what about "官当"? That sounds interesting, it's just reading "当官" backwards, right?
To be honest, it does have a certain meaning; it's about using an official's title or rank to replace imprisonment or exile. The higher the rank or rank, the lighter the punishment.
Sizi (slapping his thigh): Interesting! Isn't this just an ancient discount coupon?