Genshin Impact: My roommate and I became funny Hilichurls

Page 11

“Hooa ...

Dvalin's screams shook the entire ruins, and the Hilichurls in the distance cowered and crouched in fear.

At the same time, on the other side——

Er Kang, holding a syringe taller than a person, excitedly rushed towards Tvalin: "Come on! Give me another shot of the special medicine!"

Jean and Amber held him tightly, saying, "No! Absolutely not!"

"Why?!"

"This is my specially made 'Dragon Clan Pleasure Needle'!"

Amber screamed in despair, "You call this 'happiness'?!"

The troupe leader was sweating profusely: "This needle is thicker than a knight's lance! Are you going to give him medicine or open a tunnel through the Dragon's Spine Snow Mountain for him?!"

Lisa silently took out a bottle of super-concentrated painkiller that Zhang Chu had given her, walked up to Dvalin, and gently patted his dragon face: "Good boy, open your mouth."

Dvalin looked at her with teary eyes, his mouth trembling as he opened it.

Lisa smiled slightly and poured the entire bottle of medicine in.

"Gurgle...hiccup".

Dvalin's eyes gradually became vacant, his dragon pupils turned into the shape of mosquito coils, and his tongue drooped out.

"Good, he can't feel the pain now."

Lisa nodded in satisfaction.

"Ying, continue."

fluorescent:"……"

Wendy: "..."

Paimon: "...Didn't we go too far?"

five minutes later--

The poisonous blood on Dvalin's body was completely removed, but he was foaming at the mouth, his dragon wings were spread out limply, and the whole dragon seemed to have been emptied of its soul.

Ying wiped her sweat: "Finally... it's over."

Qingyu put away the syringe with satisfaction and said, "Next time we can try enema therapy."

Wendy: "...There won't be a next time."

Dvalin weakly raised his paw: "...Barbatos, I hate you."

—From then on, Tvalin had a new catchphrase:

"I'd rather be corrupted by the abyss than be healed by those four living fathers."

Chapter 12 refreshes Mondstadt's disaster level.

High above Mondstadt, the wind howled.

Dvalin carried Wendy and her group through the air, their dragon wings outstretched, enjoying a long-awaited freedom—until a dark shadow swept past them, instantly turning into a tiny black dot on the horizon.

Dvalin's dragon eyes contracted sharply: "Barbatos...where did those four living fathers come from?! This is too unreasonable! And wasn't that thing supposed to have crashed? How did it reappear?!"

Thinking of those four guys, Tvalin's skin tightened reflexively. If it weren't for the effects of the painkiller, he probably would have started crying and screaming, and performed a high-altitude dragon fall on the spot.

Ying gripped the dragon scales tightly, her voice trembling: "They...how did they build another one?!"

Paimon floated beside him, muttering as if his soul had left his body, "I should have known... They can pull out that galactic destruction bomb so easily, what's building another RV to them..."

Jean suddenly turned pale: "Wait! That speed... are you sure you won't crash into Mondstadt?!"

Upon hearing this, everyone abruptly straightened up from the dragon's back, staring intently at the direction the RV had disappeared in—that was Mondstadt!

Recalling the horrific crash of the RV in the Wind Dragon Ruins, everyone fell into a deathly silence.

Wendy slumped back onto the dragon's back, sighing, "Let them be... Their nature means they can't hurt people they don't intend to hurt, but there might be some financial loss..."

As soon as the words fell——

"boom--!!!"

On the distant horizon, a spectacular mushroom cloud slowly rose, the blazing firelight reddening half the sky, and the shockwave even caused ripples to spread across the high-altitude clouds.

That location... is right in the center of Mondstadt.

Everyone: "..."

Wendy paused for three seconds, then slowly changed her mind: "...Okay, I take back what I said."

Mondstadt - Disaster Site:

At the headquarters of the Knights of Favonius, Kaeya was leisurely sipping his afternoon coffee.

Suddenly, the entire building shook violently, and the window glass shattered on the ground.

Kaia's coffee cup was still hanging in mid-air, but the coffee inside had been spilled all over his face.

"Enemy attack?!"

He jumped to his feet, rushed to the window, and then—

He saw a motorhome belching black smoke, sitting steadily in the fountain in the Knights' Square, with flames still rising from the front. The words "Dvalin Express - Improved Version" were written on it in crooked handwriting.

Beside the vehicle, Qingyu was holding up a sign that read: "[Landing error only 200 meters, significant improvement]"

Er Kang climbed out of the pilot's seat, dusted himself off, and said, "This time it didn't fall apart! I declare the test flight a success!"

"Success my ass!!"

Zhang Chu flew into a rage and pulled out a "Fool's Thunder Hammer - Improved Version" from his four-dimensional pocket, with a fluorescent sticker that read "80!" on the hammerhead.

Er Kang: "Wait, wait! Zhang Chu, calm down!"

“80——!!!”

With a single blow, Er Kang instantly transformed into a shooting star, tracing a perfect parabola across Mondstadt before crashing through the wall of the Knights of Favonius headquarters' confinement chamber with a deafening boom.

Confinement room—

Erkang, perched on the wall, waved to a cute little guy in the solitary confinement cell.

Klee, who was crafting a bomb, was startled by the sudden loud noise, and the "Super Cute Bouncy Bomb 3.0" flew out of her hand: "Hey! Hilichurl!"

Er Kang instinctively caught the bomb, then looked down—

"boom--!!!"

Even faster than when he came, Er Kang, covered in soot and sporting an afro, returned like a cannonball, slamming into Gu Qian's head as he stood up.

The seven-meter-tall Thunder King stumbled, his massive body falling backward like dominoes—

Kaeya, who had just arrived with his team: "???"

"Captain, be careful!"

The knights behind him screamed in terror.

Gu Qian and Er Kang stacked themselves perfectly, pressing Kaiya down into a human-shaped piece of paper, which then floated lightly to the ground.

Paper Kaeya blinked the only eye that was visible, clearly still not understanding what had happened.

There was dead silence.

Tvalin, who had just arrived: "..."

fluorescent:"……"

Captain Qin: “…”

Amber: “…”

Wendy: "...How about we pretend we don't know them?"

Paimon has already pulled out his notebook and started writing his will: "Paimon's estate: a bag of sunset fruit, half a bottle of dandelion liqueur, and unpaid restaurant bills..."

—Mondstadt's disaster level has broken records once again.

Rosalind, the Executor of the Fools, who was watching from a distance: "..."

The ice crystal wine glass in her hand shattered with a "crack," and red wine dripped from between her fingers onto the ground, freezing into a patch of blood-red ice flowers.

"The Mondstadt people... have finally gone mad."

Her voice sounded like it was being squeezed out from between her teeth.

"How could they just let such a dangerous and uncontrollable factor in like that?"

On the other side, Diluc stood at the entrance to the Angel's Gift, his eyes slightly narrowed: "..."

He tilted the grape juice glass in his hand slightly, and the wine dripped onto the ground, but he was completely unaware.

"What on earth is the Knights of Favonius up to?"

His tone unusually carried a hint of confusion.

"How can someone with this level of destructive power still move freely within the city?"

However, just as the two were falling into deep doubt—

A huge curtain appeared out of thin air, with the words "Mondstadt Construction Group - Otherworld Express Construction Team" printed on it, instantly covering the entire damaged area.

Immediately afterwards, a staggering sound of construction came from behind the curtain:

"Clang, clang, clang!" (Hammer bangs)

"Buzz buzz buzz—" (The welding torch flashes)

"Boom!" (Suspected demolition operation)

"La la la~" (Zhang Chu was even humming a song.)

five minutes later--

The curtain suddenly opened, revealing a completely renovated Mondstadt square:

The walls of the Knights of Favonius headquarters, which had been smashed through, remained intact, and even had an additional relief decoration (the pattern was a chibi version of Kaeya being crushed into a piece of paper).